Emotions

I feel like I've been on a roller coaster of emotions for the past week. One minute I'm happy and having fun with the kids and the next I feel like I could cry. I don't know where this is coming from, and I'm ready to share the battle I've been facing. 

Personally, I think between being in the hospital, having a child in the hospital and then having to have surgery has taken a bigger emotional toll on me than I give credit. I don't want to think that these things have affected me that much, but truth be told I feel as if they have and changed me some. 

I know a lot of my anxiety stems to Adrian and me being nervous over every little thing with him because a preemie child isn't a road I've been down before. It's scary. I'm blessed to have a very healthy boy, but all of that could change in an instant. 

I'm emotional because I'm alone. I don't mean alone by myself all day, I just feel alone and feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I will get out. I'm not worried. I'm also not perfect but I'm trying. I'm a mommy who is with kids all day long and buy the end of the day I'm exhausted, feeling gross from being covered in god knows what and from what child, and ready to have big people conversations. All moms know what this is like and what the battle is like. 

The only pic I got today was Henry covered in candy dye. He went straight to the tub when we got home!  He was goofy today!  

Isabelle is memorizing new sight words and rocking it! I love her love for learning! 

Viola is VERY slowly starting to want to wear panties. She made a tiny poop in the toilet yesterday-which is HUGE for her! 

Adrian-he's busy eating and growing. Nearly found his voice and is really starting to focus on his siblings! 

My life is crazy. Busy. Upside down at times and not anywhere near organized or perfect. I'm ok with that. It's ok. And everything around me will be ok, too!  

Until tomorrow!